Training Their Virgin Assistant: A BBW Billionaire Menage Romance Page 11

“I don’t know,” I said, chewing and swallowing a huge mouthful of food. “It’s like, all of a sudden, I’m super, duper hungry.”

  “Jilly, can I ask you something?”

  I’m caught off-guard by the change in Penny’s tone: she sounds both concerned and embarrassed.

  “Sure,” I say. I set the bowl back, not wanting to make a total pig of myself. “What is it?”

  “When was the last time you got your period?”

  The question stuns me, and all I can do is blink at her.

  “Um, I don’t actually know,” I said. “A few months ago, probably. Why?”

  “Jilly,” Penny deadpans. “Come on.”

  “I can’t possibly be pregnant,” I tell her as I feel dread filling my body. “There’s no way.”

  “And why not, exactly?” Penny asks, but her voice is soft and caring. “You have been using protection, haven’t you?”

  I can’t believe it, but in the six months that I’ve been sleeping with Mason and Jay, we haven’t used a condom once.

  And it never even occurred to me. Being with them was such a hypnotic, entrancing experience that something as mundane as a condom never even crossed my mind.

  “I ... I don’t know,” I lie. “I mean, I assumed that both of them had gotten vasectomies, or something.”

  “What on earth would make you think that?” Penny asks. She takes a deep breath. “And why don’t you think you can get pregnant? You’re young,” she adds.

  “I have PCOS,” I tell her. “Remember? It’s why it’s always been so hard for me to lose weight. My doctor in high school told me that I’d have a really, really hard time trying to get pregnant unless I lost weight. And I’m prediabetic, you know that makes it really hard to have kids.”

  “Don’t hate me, but I bought something else from the store,” Penny says. She digs in her purse and tosses a box at me.

  It’s a box of three pregnancy tests, and seeing the pink and white cardboard in my hands makes me queasy all over again.

  “It’s probably nothing,” Penny says. “Like you said, it’s just nerves, or whatever. But I thought, you know, better safe, well, than the other thing. Right?”

  I swallow. “I can’t possibly be pregnant,” I say. “There’s no way.”

  “Well, why not go take one?” Penny suggests. “I bet you’ll feel better when you know. And then we can get you to the doctor and get you on some reliable birth control, just so you won’t have another scare like this.”

  I start to shake. “No,” I say quietly. “This can’t be happening. It can’t.”

  Penny reaches over and puts a hand on my shoulder. “It’s probably nothing,” she says. “But you want to be sure, don’t you?”

  My legs feel as weak as jelly as I walk to the bathroom, pregnancy test box in my hands. I’m shaking so much by the time I’m on the toilet seat that I doubt I can even hold the plastic stick between my legs, but somehow, I manage to do it. I place the cap back on the end, set a timer, and lean over with my head between my legs.

  “Hey, Jilly, I’m right outside the door,” Penny calls. “You don’t have to be afraid, okay? Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together.”

  I swallow hard. I appreciate my best friend, but right now I want nothing more than to be in bed with Mason and Jay, just letting them hold me and stroke my hair.

  My timer goes off and I hold my breath as I flip the stick over.

  There’s a plus sign in the window, and the sight of it makes tears come to my eyes.

  “I’m pregnant,” I say in disbelief. “What the fuck.”

  Penny opens the door and stares at me. “Shit,” she mutters. “You want to take another one?”

  “No,” I say numbly.

  “What can I do to help?” Penny asks. “Anything, Jilly. Just tell me. You want me to call Mason and Jay?”

  I shake my head so fast that it makes me sick. Leaping to my feet, I barely manage to turn around in time to puke in the toilet.

  When I’m done, I collapse to the floor. I’m still shaking and my abdomen hurts, swollen from the effort of vomiting.

  “I’m terrified,” I confess.

  “What? Why? Women have babies every day,” Penny says. “And it’s not like you have to have it, either.”

  “Of course I do,” I say. Tears come to my eyes. I know that the baby now takes precedence over everything else in my life ... including Mason and Jay.

  God, they’re going to want to kill me when they find out.

  This was never meant to be a long-term thing.

  It was just three consenting adults, having fun with each other.

  And knowing that I’m pregnant, knowing that this baby will ruin it, breaks my heart.

  “I can’t confront them,” I whisper. “I don’t know what to do.”

  “It’ll be okay,” Penny says, but I barely hear her.

  It’s ironic – the only thing that could calm me down right now is the loving touch of Mason and Jay.

  But considering they’re the ones responsible for my pregnancy, it doesn’t feel right.

  I can’t go to them.

  And they can’t ever know about this.

  “I have to go,” I say, getting to my feet and walking out of the bathroom. Penny follows me. She’s talking to me, but I don’t hear her words as I throw clothes and toiletries into an overnight bag.

  “Where are you going?” Penny asks. “You really think it’s a good idea to tell them about this now?”

  Turning to her with tears staining my face, I shake my head.

  “I have to go see my mom,” I say. “She’ll know what to do.”

  Penny’s jaw drops. “You’re really going to tell her? Everything?”

  “I don’t know what else to do,” I say, as a wave of fresh tears threatens to overwhelm me. “All I know is that I can’t be here anymore.”

  An hour later, I’m sitting in the familiar comfort of my mother’s kitchen. She’s made tea and although I’m too queasy to drink it, the smell of chamomile is working its calming magic.

  “Honey, why can’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Mom asks. She reaches out and puts her hand to my forehead. “You don’t feel warm. Is it the city? Is everything too much for you?”

  Mute, I shake my head. “No,” I tell her. Don’t be such a baby, I order myself. She’s your mother. She loves you. She’s going to help you figure out what to do.

  “Did you and Penny get into a fight?”

  I shake my head again.

  “Honey, I want to help you,” Mom says. “But I can’t – at least, not if you don’t tell me what’s really going on.”

  I take a deep breath and wrap my hands around the mug.

  “I’m pregnant,” I say suddenly.

  “Jilly,” Mom says, surprised. “Are you sure? I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone!”

  “I ...” And just like that, I can’t do it anymore. I break down in tears.

  Mom’s instantly by my side, rubbing my back and stroking my sweaty hair.

  “Honey, I’m so sorry,” she says. “I didn’t mean to sound unsupportive. I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

  “I was so dumb,” I moan, crying into my fists and shaking like a scared little kid. “I ...”

  “Shhh,” Mom says. She starts rubbing my back and I lean against her. Her arms wrap around me and hold me tight.

  “Does he know?” Mom asks.

  How can I tell her that I don’t even know whose baby it is?

  “Not yet,” I admit with a sniffle. “I ... I don’t think he was looking for anything serious. It just happened so fast and we saw so much of each other,” I continue. “And I don’t know what to do, but I have to have this baby. Even if it means raising her on my own.”

  Mom’s forehead is creased with worry, but I can tell that she’s not mad.

  “I love you, honey,” Mom says. “And this is definitely unexpected, but I’ll help you as much as I can, okay?”

  All I can do is nod. B
etween crying and puking and freaking out, I feel like I’ve been awake for days and days without sleep.

  As always, Mom seems to read my mind.

  “Why not go upstairs, sweetie,” she suggests. “Your bed has clean sheets on it. I bet you’ll feel better once you can get some sleep.”

  As much as I don’t think I can sleep, I nod slowly. I kick off my shoes and trudge up the stairs, my heart thumping hollowly in my chest. I can’t stop thinking about Mason and Jay, and how pissed they would be – will be – when they find out.

  They can never know; I vow to myself. I don’t want one, or both, of them pressuring me to into abortion or adoption. And neither of them is exactly Dad material: they’re both workaholics. And as much as I love their arrogance and their alpha behavior, I know that changing diapers isn’t exactly on the agenda for either man.

  No, I’m going to have to do this all by myself.

  The only question is, how?

  Despite the whirlwind in my mind, I eventually fall into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  Chapter 17

  Jilly

  Just like my mom says, the sun comes up the next morning.

  It keeps coming up.

  Days pass, then a week.

  I ignore Mason’s texts and Jay’s calls. I break a date with them – the three of us were supposed to go to a fancy art exhibit at the Met – and expect far more pushback than I actually get.

  My heart is totally broken. Just when I thought this was turning into something real, it’s run its course.

  And I’m pregnant, with one of their babies.

  God, what a fucking mess.

  At work, I can barely focus but I throw myself into my job. I try to be the best administrative assistant I can be, anticipating my boss’s needs and fetching coffee for the entire office. One day, I even spend two hours organizing all of the supply closets on my floor.

  I keep waiting and hoping – and dreading – for Jay or Mason to come by the office, to demand why they haven’t seen me lately.

  But they don’t, and my heart sinks further down with every passing day.

  After only a week of not talking to or seeing either Mason or Jay, I find myself wondering if everything that transpired between us was a dream. It would be so easy to believe.

  If only my belly wasn’t about to start showing.

  For once in my life, I’m glad that I’m a bigger girl. I show up to work in tent dresses and oversized tunics – all in black, to hide my stomach. It’s the way I’ve dressed since I was a little kid, and I take comfort in the extra folds of clothing that hide my curves from the world.

  “You’ve got to do something,” Penny tells me one morning, when I’m wolfing down a quick breakfast of cereal and fruit. “You’re going to the doctor, right?”

  I nod.

  “And how far along are you?”

  “About twelve weeks,” I say. “The doctor did say the nausea should stop soon.”

  Penny nods.

  “I really have to get to work,” I mutter, shoving a huge bite of cereal in my mouth and chewing. “I can’t keep being late – someone from HR came and talked to me about it last week and said that everyone’s noticed.”

  “Do you think you’re going to lose your job?” Penny asks.

  “I hope to god no,” I say. “But I’m going to have to find another one before too much longer.”

  Penny squints at me. “You’re really planning on keeping this a secret?” She asks, flushing. “I mean, not to sound weird, but how the heck are you going to afford it on your own? Those guys are loaded.”

  “Yeah, and if they find out now, they’ll think I did it on purpose to trap them,” I say miserably, closing my eyes and sighing.

  “Jilly ... honey, a baby is a lot of work,” Penny says. “And yeah, I can help some. But how are you going to pay for everything?”

  “I don’t know,” I say miserably. Tears are coming to my eyes, and the last thing I want is to talk about this, to rehash the same conversation over and over. I know it’s childish, but I want to bury my head in the sand and act like nothing is wrong.

  God, what the hell have I gotten myself into?

  “I really have to get to work,” I mutter, not giving Penny a chance to reply. Grabbing my bag, I sling it over my shoulder and storm out of the apartment.

  Outside, the weather is so hot that I feel like I’m swimming through the humid air. I begin to sweat instantly, and by the time I arrive at SMX, I’m drowning in my own perspiration.

  Of course, the other women in the lobby don’t look anything other than perfect. I’ve always been one of those people who gets red and flushed as soon as the temperate goes over seventy-five, but all of these girls look pristine, like they just walked out of the pages of a J. Crew catalogue.

  It only reinforces what I’ve always known: I’m a chubby nobody, perpetually unkempt.

  When I reach my floor, I make a mug of herbal tea for myself and pour it over ice. I’m just about to take it back to my desk and throw myself into data entry when I see Allison, Mason’s secretary, making her way towards me.

  My heart stops for a second, then begins to beat wildly in my chest.

  Is she going to summon me to Mason? I wonder, as sweat beads on the back of my neck. Or worse, tell me that I’m fired? Oh my god, fuck!

  “Hi, Jilly,” Allison says, in a syrupy-sweet voice that immediately sets my teeth on edge. She’s always been nothing but nice to me, but I get the sense that she deeply dislikes me.

  “Hi,” I say.

  “Did you have a good weekend?”

  “Uh, sure,” I lie. In reality, I spent it lying in bed and playing games on my phone, praying for a call from Mason or Jay.

  But it’s not like Allison needs to know that.

  “I went to the beach,” she says smoothly, pushing past me and opening the refrigerator. “With some people from work.” Cocking her head to the side, she turns to me and raises an eyebrow. “You should really be more social, Jilly. No one’s going to invite you to things if you don’t accept.”

  I don’t know what to say – other than Mason and Jay, no one at SMX has ever thought to include me in their plans.

  Allison giggles. “I mean, you’re not really doing yourself any favors,” she continues nonchalantly.

  “Sorry?”

  “We have a great employee assistance program,” Allison says. “They could definitely help you out.”

  “I don’t get it,” I say blankly. “Help me with what?”

  “Your little weight problem,” Allison says in her telephone-operator voice. “I mean, I’m not trying to be rude.” She looks me up and down, allowing her eyes to linger on my stomach. “I know, it’s really hard to resist the leftovers from catering, and god knows those doughnuts on Fridays never did me any favors, either. But you have such a pretty face. I’m sure you’d be much happier if you lost the weight you’ve put on.”

  My heart sinks down to my feet and I have to grip the edge of the counter.

  A smile comes over Allison’s face and for a brief moment, she resembles a cat about to pounce on a mouse.

  “And I’m sure the men would appreciate it, too,” she says lightly. “Why make things harder on yourself, Jilly?”

  Tears come to my eyes and I take a deep breath, grabbing my tea and hustling out of the kitchen as fast as I can. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, I think as I walk quickly to my desk. I’m getting bigger, people are noticing, what the heck am I supposed to do?!

  I’m so mortified that I want to run to the bathroom and sob. I can’t believe it – how was I naïve enough to think that I really wasn’t showing yet? I’m suddenly grateful that neither Mason nor Jay has made an appearance because surely, they would be able to tell.

  My brain goes into full-on panic mode and I set my tea down on my desk with a shaking hand. I grab my bag and sling it over my shoulder, glancing over my desk. In over six months of working at SMX, I never brought anything more personal than a mug into work,
and I don’t want to risk running into Allison again.

  With a lump in my throat, I quietly walk out of my department and into Human Resources.

  Eva, the woman who hired me, is sitting at her desk and typing madly away at her keyboard. I have to clear my throat twice for her to look up at me. Immediately, her smile vanishes and she gives me a concerned look.

  “Jilly, are you all right? You look unwell,” Eva says. “Would you like to sit down?”

  Breathless, I shake my head. “No,” I say. “I’m really sorry, um, but I have to quit.”

  “Are you giving notice?”

  “I ... I can’t do that, I’m sorry, something really urgent came up. And I have to leave. Today.”

  Eva frowns for a moment before exhaling slowly. “Jilly, if this has something to do with ... an interpersonal matter, please know that almost everything can be resolved.”

  I want to cry – does she know, too?

  Does everyone?

  Has all of this been a big joke at my expense?

  “No,” I lie, sniffling and shaking my head. “It’s a personal crisis.”

  Like, I’m having the CEO’s baby.

  “Okay, well, I really wish that things hadn’t worked out this way,” Eva says slowly. “You’ve been a very valued member of our team over the last few months.”

  Her voice is so kind and genuine that I want to throw myself in her arms and cry.

  But I can’t do that.

  “Jilly, I normally wouldn’t say this. I risk coming across as unprofessional,” Eva says slowly. She’s studying me, like I’m some fascinating piece of biology – a chubby young woman, sobbing in her office with a red face.

  “What?” I ask, holding my breath. “What is it?”

  Eva lets out a long breath. “I can’t help but feel partially responsible for this,” she says. “I feel that I didn’t mentor you properly.”

  I stare at her. Is she saying what I think she’s saying?

  That somehow, she knows about me and Jay and Mason, and that she wishes she could have intervened?

  Does this mean that they’ve done this before?

  “I’m sorry,” I squeak quietly. “I really, really wish I didn’t have to do this.”